


A Not-So-Wonderful Life

by ClassicTrekker



Category: Airwolf
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-05 14:01:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1094755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClassicTrekker/pseuds/ClassicTrekker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of Kingdom Come, Hawke comments that Caitlin would be safer, and her life would be better, if she had never met him. But one night changes everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N #1: This is an idea I've been tossing around for a while now, loosely based on the famous It's a Wonderful Life storyline. Hawke and Caitlin are not together at the beginning of the story, and this will be a one-shot. Enjoy!
> 
> A/N #2: I know this is a little darker than some of my previous writings, but I hope someone enjoys it. And, Merry Christmas to all my readers who celebrate!

“Sometimes, Cait, I think you'd be a helluva lot safer if we had never met!” Stringfellow Hawke said angrily. He and Dom had rescued Caitlin from Ken Sawyer, the man who had seduced her to get to Hawke and Airwolf, in order to smuggle a dozen stolen nuclear detonators out of the country, and the three of them had gone to Hawke's cabin to relax for a while after the rescue, but Hawke's comment had increased the tension a thousand fold.

 

 

“Is that how you really feel, Hawke?” Caitlin snapped back, angrily. Hawke winced at the tears in Caitlin's eyes, but pressed on. _Now that I've said it, I can't very well take it back,_ he thought, _so I might as well tell her the rest of it._

 

 

“Yeah, Cait. It is. Let's face it—you never would've met Sawyer if you didn't know me, and you wouldn't have wound up as his hostage to get to me and Airwolf! Not to mention, you wouldn't have met Villers, either! Or been with me on that island, or run into Dom's psycho cousin Holly. I-I just think that your life would be better, and _longer,_ if you didn't know Stringfellow Hawke existed.”

 

 

“I-I can't believe you said that to me, Hawke,” Caitlin stammered, tears glistening in her hazel eyes. _Does he have any idea how much those words hurt? Does he even care?_ Without thinking, Caitlin turned and fled from the cabin, out to the dock where the helicopter stood waiting. Dom stayed behind for a moment, angry.

 

 

“Dammit, String!” Dom bellowed. “I can't believe you said that, either! You really think Cait's life would be better if she'd never met you?”

 

 

“You're damned right I do, Dom. I mean, think about it logically for a minute, not like Caitlin's a friend of yours, someone you love like a daughter. Caitlin never would've been flyin' Holly up to the cabin, or flyin' Carter Anderson III to that meeting and almost getting shot out of the sky, or she never would have met Ken Sawyer, if she didn't know me. Not to mention bein' on that island with me and almost dying, either from exposure to that virus, or a nuclear explosion. I think that's pretty cut and dried, don't you?”

 

 

“Well, String, I guess that means that you would've been dead, too, if Cait had never met you,” Dom shot back. “'Cause I sure as hell wasn't in any condition to help you when you pumped those tranquilizers into my gut after Horn brainwashed you, was I? Cait saved _both_ our asses that time! Dammit, kid, you really have some weird ideas!” Dom put his red _Santini Air_ ball cap back on his head angrily. “I'll be back in a couple days, String, and I want you to do somethin' for me while you're up here alone. Think— _really think—_ about what you said, and whether Cait's life would really be better if she'd never met you. Can you do that for me?”

 

 

“I will, Dom,” Hawke promised, “but I seriously doubt it's gonna change my mind.”

 

 

“Don't be so sure, hotshot,” Dom said as he turned and walked out the door of the cabin. He climbed into the pilot's seat of the helicopter and prepared to head back to the hangar. “Sorry that took so long, Cait,” Dom said as the engine started. “I was just tryin' to get String to understand what a dumb comment that was. Personally, Cait, I think you're the best thing to happen to that stubborn jackass in a long time—maybe the best thing to _ever_ happen to him—even if he _does_ refuse to acknowledge it!”

 

 

“Thanks, Dom,” Caitlin said through her tears. “I just wish...” She cut herself off as a fresh wave of tears overwhelmed her, and Dom turned his attention back to flying.

 

 

 _Dammit, kid, you might've really done it this time!_ Dom thought angrily. _Cait might just go home after what you said, and I wouldn't blame her if she did._

 

 

“No, Dom,” Caitlin said, jolting him out of his thoughts, “I'm not goin' home. At least, not yet.”

 

 

“How the heck did you know what I was thinkin', Cait?”

 

 

“It's written all over your face, Dom. Don't worry. Like I said, I'm not leavin', yet. Maybe, maybe String will come around, eventually.” _Besides, I don't want Mom to have the satisfaction of bein' able to say, 'See? I told ya so, Caity girl!', or somethin' like that,_ she thought.

 

 

“I hope so, kid,” Dom said, smiling over at Caitlin. “I sure as hell hope so.” _But I'm sure as hell not counting on it,_ he thought.

 

 

Hawke had watched Dom's helicopter leave the dock, noticing that Dom didn't wave good-bye to him like he normally did. _Dom's really upset,_ Hawke thought as he walked back into the cabin, _and I guess I can understand why. He loves Cait just like she was his daughter, and he'd like to see us together. But, that can't be, and he knows why! And, he knows that I'm right, even if he doesn't want to admit it. Caitlin's life would be be better, and longer, if she had never met me. I, I just wish Dom, and Caitlin, would understand that._ Sighing again, Hawke walked back into the cabin to get his fishing gear, so he could catch a trout for supper.

 

 

Later that evening, Hawke lay in his bed trying to go to sleep, but the vision of Caitlin's tear-filled eyes refused to leave his mind. _Why can't I get Caitlin out of my head?_ He thought angrily. _She knows her life would be better if she'd never met me, dammit! Even if she refuses to admit it, just like Dom._ Slowly, he felt his mind clearing and sleep finally claiming him.

 

 

“ _String? String?_ ” A voice startled Hawke out of his sleep, and his eyes slowly adjusted to the dim firelight, to see a vision he never thought he would see again.

 

 

“Kelly? Kel, is that really you?”

 

 

“Yeah, String,” Hawke's high school girlfriend said, “it's me. I'm here to show you something. You said Caitlin's life would be better, and longer, if she had never met you, but I'm here to tell you that you might not know everything you think you do.”

 

 

“Kel, that's ridiculous,” Hawke said, climbing out of bed, thankful he'd pulled on a pair of sweats when he went to sleep. “I know Caitlin's life would be better, not to mention _longer,_ if she'd never met me.”

 

 

“Come with me,” Kelly said, holding out her hand, “and you'll see.” Hawke threw on a sweatshirt and reached out, surprised when he felt Kelly's fingers curl around his hand. The next thing Hawke knew, he and Kelly weren't in the cabin anymore—Hawke had no idea where they were, but he recognized Caitlin immediately.

 

 

“Caitlin?” Hawke asked, but Kelly tapped his shoulder. “Hawke, she can't see or hear us. We're observers only. Watch,” she said, as the front door of the house opened and Caitlin turned, smiling as she saw the man walk in.

 

 

“Hey, handsome,” Caitlin said as she walked over to the man and wrapped her arms around his neck. The man wrapped his arms around her waist and gave her a quick, but passionate kiss. “How are you, Mr. Villers?”

 

 

“I'm good,” Robert Villers replied. “How are you, Cait?”

 

 

“Fine,” Caitlin replied. She kissed the man Hawke now knew as her husband again.

 

 

Hawke turned angrily to Kelly. “Kel, this is just proving my point! Caitlin's married, and she seems happy. It looks like she's got a wonderful life, not like the life she has knowing me!” _But why, and how, she's married to Villers, I'll never understand,_ Hawke thought.

 

 

“Everything isn't what it seems, Hawke,” Kelly replied. “Watch.” Hawke nodded, as he and Kelly turned back to the vision unfolding in front of them.

 

 

“Caitlin,” Villers said, “I lied a minute ago, when I said I was good. There's—there's somethin' I need to know.”

 

 

“What is it, Robert?” She asked, worried.

 

 

“Who the hell have you been screwing behind my back?” Robert demanded. Hawke blanched and turned to look at Kelly, who simply gestured back to them. “Listen,” she said.

 

 

“Robert,” Caitlin said, “I haven't been 'screwing' anybody, as you so colorfully put it, but _you!_ You're my _husband,_ in case you've forgotten! Why the hell would I be screwing somebody else, when I'm married to you?”

 

 

“Why don't you answer that question, you little bitch?” Villers demanded, all the charm Hawke had seen when Villers walked into the house evaporating. Hawke felt himself growing increasingly angry when Villers calmly punched Caitlin straight in the face.

 

 

“That sonofabitch!” Hawke snapped, moving toward Villers. “What the hell did he do that for? I've got a good mind to tear him apart!”

 

 

“Hawke,” Kelly said, “neither Caitlin, nor Villers, can hear or see us. Remember what I said before? We're just observers. Now, watch some more,” she said, forcing Hawke to look at Caitlin's face, which now bore a large, ugly bruise just under her left eye.

 

 

“Robert,” Caitlin said, her tone growing fearful, “Please. You know I love you, and you know you're the _only man_ I've ever slept with! What in the world makes you think I've slept with anybody else? Or that I'd step outside of our marriage vows?”

 

 

“Lots of things, you little slut,” Villers snapped. “For one thing, the fact that we haven't had sex in almost two months, and for another, the outfits you've taken to wearing, just to name two off the top of my head.” Villers glanced disgustedly at the short, tight dress and high heeled pumps that Caitlin wore. “You never used to dress like that!” _I hate agreeing with the sonofabitch, but in this case, h_ _e's right,_ Hawke thought, picturing Caitlin in her typical coverall, or sweater and jeans, _Caitlin never did dress like that._ _At least, not in a dress that tight-fitting._ Just then, Hawke heard Caitlin saying something, and forced himself to listen.

 

 

“I've been dressin' like this to try to get _your attention,_ you dumb jackass!” Caitlin snapped, and was rewarded when Villers punched her in the face again. Hawke growled silently as he saw the bruises forming under both Caitlin's eyes.

 

 

“The only reason we haven't had sex in so long is because _you_ haven't been payin' attention to _me_ , you asshole!” Caitlin shouted, angry. “I guess I have to wonder who in the hell _you've_ been screwing behind _my back!”_ She wasn't surprised when Villers shoved her angrily, causing her to smash her head into the wall behind her.

 

 

“How the hell long has this been going on?” Hawke demanded. _The Caitlin O'Shannessy I know would never cheat on someone she loved. Even if_ _he was_ _a bastard like this_ _guy_ _. He even makes Sawyer look like a decent guy. Almost._

 

 

“Six months,” Kelly replied. “And they've been married seven. And in case you're wondering, Hawke, Villers is the one who's cheating, not Cait. Like she said, she's only dressing like that to try and get her husband's attention again. He's been cheating on Cait, and basically ignoring her, for the past six months.”

 

 

 _I knew it. I knew Cait would never cheat on a man she loved,_ Hawke thought. “My God,” his stomach turned as he looked at Caitlin cowering in the corner, more frightened than he could ever recall seeing her. _Even when she ran to Dom and me after she got off the ship, she didn't look that terrified._ “I, I can't watch any more,” he said, and Kelly nodded understandingly. A moment later, they were back in the cabin, alone.

 

 

“Do you see, Hawke?” Kelly demanded. “Do you see what Caitlin's life would be like if you'd never met her?”

 

 

“Yeah,” Hawke replied. “I see that Cait fell in love and got married, but that the guy she married is as big of a jerk as he was before I killed him. But the point is, she's not in danger of bein' killed, like she is now, in reality, because she knows me!”

 

 

“Don't be so sure about that, String,” Kelly replied as she took Hawke's hand again. A moment later, they were back in the Villers' residence. Caitlin was alone, and Hawke could see she'd been beaten again. Just then, she heard the front door opening, and saw Robert walking in, looking even angrier than he had when Hawke saw him earlier. As Robert advanced on Caitlin, Hawke immediately recognized the look in his eyes. _That rotten bastard's going to kill her,_ he thought. However, Hawke felt an enormous sense of relief when Caitlin turned toward him and pointed her gun at his head, firing two quick shots and dropping him instantly.

 

 

“Good riddance,” Hawke thought angrily. He watched as Caitlin calmly put her gun back in its safe and locked the door, then went to her bedroom. “Well, she'll be able to be happy again someday, now that Villers is out of her life,” Hawke said to Kelly. “And more important,” he added, “she'll be safe.”

 

 

“Don't be so sure,” Kelly said again as they turned back to Caitlin. Suddenly, Hawke heard police sirens outside the Villers home, and saw officers break down the door and rush into the home. Caitlin came downstairs from the bedroom, saying, “Is there a problem, officers?”

 

 

“Caitlin Villers,” one of the officers intoned, as another officer walked behind her and grabbed her arms, pulling them behind her back and placing handcuffs on her wrists, “you are under arrest for the murder of Robert Villers. You have the right to remain silent. If you give up the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you by the court. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you still have the right to stop answering at any time, until you speak with a lawyer. Do you understand these rights, as I've explained them to you?” Caitlin nodded, sheepishly.

 

 

“Yes. I've given that speech enough myself, y'know.” The officer nodded at Caitlin in recognition before leading her outside. She was put into the back of the police car and driven away.

 

 

“The neighbors heard the shots, and called the police, so she's been arrested,” Kelly said, “and you do know Texas is a death penalty state, don't you, Hawke?”

 

 

“Yeah, I know. Cait's told me about it.” Hawke shook his head at everything he'd just seen, “But Cait shot Villers in _self-defense,_ for Pete's sake _._ There's no way any jury on this planet would sentence her to die.”

 

 

“Careful, Hawke,” Kelly replied. “You know what they say about assuming things.”

 

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Hawke admitted, “I do know. Dom tells me that all the time. 'Never assume anything, 'cause it just makes an _ass_ out of _you_ and _me._ ' But I think in this case, I'm pretty safe. Cait might serve a few years for manslaughter, or even life without parole, but the fact that it was self-defense should keep her alive.”

 

 

“We'll see, Hawke,” Kelly replied as they moved out of the house, and Hawke found himself in a courtroom. _Caitlin's trial,_ he thought nervously as he glanced at her, wishing she could see him. _But it wouldn't make any difference if she could see me,_ Hawke realized, _because she doesn't know I exist._

 

 

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,” the district attorney was saying, “the state has proven, in our opinion beyond a reasonable doubt, that Caitlin O'Shannessy Villers planned to murder her husband Robert, in order to cover for the lifestyle that she had been leading, and also to collect the nearly $10 million in life insurance that Villers had on him. The case is clear, ladies and gentlemen, and we urge that Mrs. Villers be found guilty of the maximum crime possible— _first degree murder_.” Hawke felt a chill at the DA's words, delivered so callously and coldly. _He could even give Horn a run for his money,_ Hawke thought, then forced himself back into the moment when he heard another voice.

 

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Caitlin's defense attorney began, “there _is_ reasonable doubt as to Mrs. Villers' intentions on the night of her husband's death. We have shown that Robert Villers had a history of being physically violent to his wife, along with being unfaithful to her, and in her eyes the only way she could defend herself was to shoot her husband. And if anyone had a lifestyle that needed to be covered, it was Robert Villers, not his widow. My client has faithfully served as a member of the Texas Highway Patrol for five years, ladies and gentlemen, and I know her personally. Caitlin Villers does not have a spiteful or vengeful bone in her body. What Caitlin did that night was not done in cold blood, ladies and gentlemen. It was self defense, pure and simple, ladies and gentlemen, and should be viewed as such.” The defense attorney sat down as the judge dismissed the jury members to begin debating their verdict.

 

 

“She'll be all right,” Hawke said. “Like I said, there's no way she'll be convicted of murder. Manslaughter, maybe, but not murder. And the fact that it was self-defense should help her, too.”

 

 

“Don't be so sure about that, Hawke,” Kelly said, shaking her head. “Villers was a very powerful figure in business and politics in Texas. His name was even being tossed around as a possible candidate for lieutenant governor. He was highly respected all around the state. And,” Kelly added quietly, “Caitlin's lawyer wasn't that great, and the DA is one of the most ruthless in the state of Texas. Not to mention, he launched an anti-spousal abuse campaign, hopin' that he'd be able to ride it to the Governor's mansion next year, with Villers as his lieutenant governor, like I said.”

 

 

“But Villers was an abuser himself,” Hawke retorted “The jury heard what he did to Cait, and they saw the bruises. They'll have to take that into consideration.”

 

 

“We'll see, Hawke,” Kelly said. “We'll see. But we won't have to wait much longer. It looks like they've made their decision,” she said as she saw the jury filing back into the courtroom.

 

 

“Has the jury reached a verdict?” The judge asked.

 

 

“We have, Your Honor,” the foreperson said, standing.

 

 

“Mrs. Villers, please rise,” the judge said as Caitlin and her lawyer stood up. “Foreperson, please read the verdict.”

 

 

“Yes, Your Honor. We, the jury in the above entitled action, find the defendant, Caitlin O'Shannessy Villers,” the foreperson paused and took a deep breath, then continued, “ _guilty_ of murder in the first degree.”

 

 

“No!” Hawke shouted, anguished. He knew that in Texas, a conviction of first-degree murder carried a sentence of death. “This can't be happening, Kel! There's, there's gotta be some way out!”

 

 

“Sorry, Hawke,” Kelly said, shaking her head, “like I said, Villers had a lot of friends on both sides of the law, not to mention a lot of money, respect, and power.”

 

 

“But that doesn't mean Cait's going to die,” Hawke stated emphatically. “She might get a sentence of life in prison without parole, but she's not going to die.”

 

 

“We'll see, Hawke.” Suddenly, they were back in the courtroom again, and Hawke knew the sentence was about to be read.

 

 

“Texas Inmate 1457,” the judge intoned, “do you have anything to say before I pronounce sentence?”

 

 

“Just that I don't regret what I did,” Caitlin snapped, “and that if I had to, I'd do it all over again, after everything that rotten bastard did to me.”

 

 

“Understood,” the judge said. “Texas Inmate 1457, I sentence you to death by way of lethal injection. You're a cold-blooded killer who has no place in our society, and I won't rest until I've _personally_ seen to it that your sentence is carried out!” The slam of his gavel sounded like a gunshot to Hawke's ears.

 

 

“No!” Hawke shouted, anguished. “This can't be happening! Caitlin can't be going to die!”

 

 

“I'm afraid so, Hawke,” Kelly replied. “She's going to die, even though she has no idea that you even exist, because you never went to Texas to help her with Bogan. Don't you understand? Think about all those incidents you talked about earlier. In every one, _she survived._ And think about the time when she was flying home for her sister's wedding, and the plane got hijacked. Do you _really_ think she would've survived, if she _hadn't_ known you? And those people didn't pick that plane to hijack because Caitlin was on it, or because she knew you. It was just _bad luck._ ” Kelly seemed to stare a hole right through Hawke, and he suddenly understood what had happened. _Of course, if I didn't know Cait, she wouldn't have been on that plane, because she never would've left Texas,_ Hawke thought, _but otherwise, Kelly's absolutely right. If I hadn't been so worried about Cait, and gone and gotten Airwolf the minute we heard that the plane had gone down, Cait **would** be dead, along with everybody else on that plane._

 

 

“I, I suppose you're right,” Hawke said. “No, wait. I _know_ you're right, Kel. And, I understand what you're trying to tell me. But, Cait's not going to die right away. I know enough about the death penalty to know that the appeals process takes _years,_ so she's not going anywhere for a while.”

 

 

“Hawke,” Kelly asked, shaking her head, “you haven't listened to a damned thing I've said, have you? Villers has—had—very _powerful_ friends. And those friends are going to do whatever they can to get Caitlin's sentence expedited. I promise you that. Not to mention the fact that it seems like she felt no remorse for what she did—not that I blame her—but that doesn't bode well during an appeals process.”

 

 

“Oh, God,” Hawke mumbled. Just then, he felt Kelly take his hand again, and he found himself in the witness room of an execution chamber as Caitlin was led in. Hawke winced when he saw the chain around her waist and the cuffs on her wrists as she was led to the gurney and tightly strapped onto it. Hawke felt tears forming in his eyes as he saw two people inserting needles into Caitlin's arms. _This, this can't be happening,_ he thought, feeling more fear and helplessness than he could ever recall feeling in his entire life.

 

 

“Kelly, there's got to be some way to stop this,” Hawke begged. “I'll do anything, I swear! Anything! Just don't let Caitlin die!” Hawke felt a terror gnawing at him that he hadn't felt since he woke up in Horn's compound, and saw Caitlin staring at him, her eyes full of tears.

 

 

“Hawke, I can't stop this. There's nothing anyone can do now, except for the governor. He's the only one who can stop this,” she said, nodding to a red phone. “Cait might still have a chance, because that red phone is a direct line to the governor. If it rings, there might still be hope for her. Otherwise,” she stopped as a man stepped in front of the gurney Caitlin was strapped to. Hawke winced when he saw the needles in both of Caitlin's arms.

 

 

 _God, please stop this,_ Hawke thought. “Caitlin Villers,” the man in front of the gurney was saying, “do you have anything to say, before your sentence is carried out?”

 

 

“Like I said the day that judge pronounced sentence,” Caitlin said, “I don't regret what I did, and if I had it to do over again, I would've done exactly the same thing! I know what Villers did to me! He was a dirty rotten bastard, and I'm not sorry he's dead!”

 

 

“Very well,” the man said. Just then, Hawke heard a phone ring. _Thank God!_ Hawke thought, then he saw the man he presumed to be the warden moving toward a white phone, not the red one. “Yes,” the warden said, “I understand. Thank you.”

 

 

“It's a go,” the warden said tersely, reaching into his pocket. Hawke saw the warden nod, and knew that the flow of drugs into Caitlin's bloodstream had been started. _No, dammit! There's got to be some way to stop this! God, I'll do anything you want, anything! Just please, don't let Cait die!_ He watched, terrified, as Caitlin began resisting the drugs that were being pumped into her system.

 

 

 _C'mon, Caitlin! Fight it!_ Hawke thought. He tried to will the drugs not to take effect, but he could already see Caitlin's resistance waning. Finally, he saw her eyes slowly close as the first of the drugs, sodium thiopental, took its full effect. _She looks so beautiful, even this way,_ Hawke thought, feeling a wave of tears wash over him. A few minutes later, Hawke saw Caitlin's eyes open, and he knew it was over. _Her muscles have totally relaxed, now that she's dead,_ Hawke thought, having seen too many people die. Another man with a stethoscope checked for a heartbeat, then shook his head and slipped Caitlin's eyes closed for the last time as he said, “Time of death, 1815.”

 

 

“I've seen enough, Kelly,” Hawke said, barely able to control his anger. “Get us the hell out of here.”

 

 

“There's nothing more to see, anyway, String,” Kelly replied, taking his hand again.

 

 

“Kelly, _no!_ It can't end this way!” Hawke shouted angrily, realizing they were back in the cabin. “She can't be gone, Kel, she just can't be!”

 

 

“She's not dead, Hawke,” Kelly insisted. “She's back at her house crying, like she's been doing ever since she and Dom left the cabin, because of what you said, but she's alive. What you saw was what _would_ have happened, if you hadn't met her. Do you understand, String? Caitlin's life would _not_ have been better, or longer, if she had never met you! And, like Dom said, if she hadn't been there when Horn kidnapped you, you would be _dead right now!_ ”

 

 

“I understand, Kel,” Hawke said, more ashamed than he'd ever been. “I'll, I'll apologize to Caitlin, even though I don't think she's going to accept my apologies. But something's really bothering me. How the hell did Villers wind up in Texas? Cait met him here, in California.”

 

 

“String,” Kelly said, shaking her head and smiling, “I swear, you are still the most stubborn person I know! Haven't you learned _anything_ from what you've seen tonight? I swear, you really need to stop assuming everything. If you talk to Caitlin with that attitude, I can guarantee you, she _won't_ accept your apology. But if you go in there and apologize—really, _sincerely_ apologize—then I think you know what's going to happen, don't you?”

 

 

“Yeah, Kel, I, I do know,” Hawke said. “And, thanks. I don't understand why you're helping Cait, though.”

 

 

“I'm not helping Cait, you stupid, blind ass. I'm helping _you._ Helping you understand that for once in your life, you're _wrong._ ”

 

 

“Kel, I've been wrong before,” Hawke said, smiling, “I just never liked to admit it, you know that.”

 

 

“Yeah, I do know that, Hawke,” Kelly said. “Well, I really need to go. Just remember everything you saw, Hawke. And do what you have to do. You _know_ what you have to do, Hawke. Oh, and by the way, to answer your question, it seems that in that altered reality, Villers left California and moved to Texas about a year ago. Something about the politics there needing to be changed, or some such nonsense. His marrying Cait was more a marriage of convenience than love, at least in his mind. Villers knew that it'd be a lot harder to be elected to high office if he wasn't married, and when he saw Caitlin, he knew what he had to do.”

 

 

“Well, that makes sense, I suppose,” Hawke replied. _It makes perfect sense. He saw Cait, realized how beautiful she is, and things just went from there,_ Hawke thought. “And yeah, I do know what I have to do. Correction. I know what I _want_ to do, and what I _need_ to do. I mean, Cait, Cait _gets me,_ Kel. More than just about anybody I've ever met, except maybe you. Kel, I've gotta ask—will I ever see you again?”

 

 

“I don't know, Hawke,” Kelly replied, “but never say never. I might drop in on you and Cait sometime. I want to know that Cait's takin' good care of you, y'know.”

 

 

“I know,” Hawke replied, “and I wouldn't worry about it, Kel. She always has taken good care of me.” _Probably better than I deserve, considering everything I've done that's hurt her,_ Hawke thought sadly.

 

 

“I know, String,” Kelly replied. “You two take good care of each other. You have ever since you met her, and I think you look good together. Well, the time has come for me to say good-bye. Take care, Stringfellow Hawke. And, do the right thing for once in your life, okay?”

 

 

“Okay, Kel,” Hawke replied as the image of his late girlfriend faded from his eyes. “And, thanks. For everything,” he said to the disappearing image.

 

 

When Hawke woke up the next morning, his first thought was of Caitlin's face the previous night, after he made that stupid comment. _I know what I have to do,_ Hawke thought. _No, wait. What I **want** to do. And, like I told Kel in that...vision, or dream, or whatever the hell it was...what I **need** to do._ He moved to the CB radio. “Dom? Come in, Dom.”

 

 

“String?” Dom's voice came through the radio. “What's goin' on? I wasn't planning on comin' up there after you until tomorrow, dammit!”

 

 

“Dom,” Hawke said, “I need you to come up here and get me. _Now._ There's, there's somethin' I want to do.”

 

 

“I'm on my way, String,” Dom said, and Hawke winced when he heard the chill in his surrogate father's voice. _Well, maybe he'll change his tune when he hears what I've decided,_ Hawke thought as he went to get dressed.

 

 

A half-hour later, Hawke walked out anxiously as he heard Dom's helicopter landing on the dock. He smiled at Dom as he climbed into the helicopter. “Dom, I've been thinking about what I saidyesterday, and that's why I asked you to come get me. I made a decision because of something that happened last night, and as soon as I can, I'm...I'm going to apologize to Caitlin.”

 

 

“Are you admitting you're wrong?” Dom asked. Hawke noticed the anger in Dom's tone had softened, a little. _At least, I think it did,_ he thought anxiously.

 

 

“I will when I see Caitlin,” Hawke admitted, “but if you need to hear me say it, Dom, then I was wrong. I _am_ wrong. I know that Caitlin's life wouldn't be any better, or any longer, without me. In fact,” Hawke said, glancing over at his surrogate father, “her life would have been way worse, and _shorter,_ without me.”

 

 

“Worse?” Dom asked. “In what way, or do I really want to know?”

 

 

“I, I can't really explain it, Dom,” Hawke said, shaking his head, “mainly 'cause I don't think you'd believe me if I told you. And to be honest, you probably don't want to know anyway. But last night I saw, something that convinced me that knowing me doesn't put Caitlin in danger. In fact, like you said, knowing me _has_ saved her life, just like she saved mine, and yours, with Horn. And, I'm, I'm ready to admit somethin', too. Something that you've been trying to get me to admit for a long time now.”

 

 

“What's that?” Dom demanded.

 

 

“I'm ready to admit, that I love her, Dom,” Hawke said. “Not just like a good friend, either. If, if she'll accept it, and accept _me,_ then I'm ready to admit that I'm in love with Caitlin, and I have been for a long time. And after what I saw last night, I know that she wouldn't be in any more danger if we were together.”

 

 

“All right!” Dom said, a huge smile finally breaking through on his face. “I don't think you'll have anything to worry about, String. I think everything's gonna be just fine.”

 

 

“I hope so, Dom,” Hawke said as the hangar came into view. “I sure as hell hope so. But remember what you always told Saint John and me about 'assuming' things.”

 

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Dom said dismissively, “I remember, buddy. But in this case, I think I'm safe.” Hawke stifled a smile as he remembered saying almost the same thing last night. _And I turned out wrong,_ he thought. _I sure hope like hell you're not gonna be wrong, Dom._ When they'd landed, Hawke quickly got on his motorcycle and roared off, more determined than he'd ever been about anything. As he drove toward Caitlin's house, Hawke thought worriedly, _I just hope she can forgive me for my big mouth, and I hope I haven't completely ruined our friendship, or any chance that it might be more._

 

 

Caitlin O'Shannessy's hand hovered hesitantly over the phone. Ever since she came back from the cabin, after what Hawke said to her, she'd been debating calling the airport and making a reservation on the next flight to Texas, then calling her mom to tell her that she was coming home. _But if I did, the first words out of Mom's mouth would probably be somethin' to the effect of, 'See, Caity girl? I told ya so!', or somethin' like that, and I damned sure don't want to give Mom the satisfaction of bein' right. Not to mention, she and Erin would both probably want to hightail it right back here and beat the snot out of Hawke for what he said. And, Hawke would deserve it, too. But how do I get Hawke to understand how much what he said hurt me?_ She felt tears flood her eyes when Dolly Parton's _I Will Always Love You_ came on the radio. _I, I will always love Hawke,_ Caitlin thought, _but I can't stay here anymore. Not after what he said yesterday._ Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard someone knocking on the front door. Caitlin quickly dried her eyes as she walked to the door.

 

 

 _If that danged idiot salesman's out there again, I swear, I'll kill him!_ Caitlin thought, irritated. A very persistent vacuum cleaner salesman had been making several visits to her house recently, and Caitlin had begun thinking that he was trying to sell her on something _other_ than a vacuum cleaner. “How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not interested!” She said, throwing open the door. Caitlin stopped when, instead of the obnoxious salesman she'd been expecting, she saw only the largest bouquet of roses she had ever seen in her life, along with a teddy bear holding a red heart, with the words _I'm 'Beary' Sorry_ across the front. _Um, okay. This isn't that idiot salesman. The question is, who the heck is it? Who do I know that needs to apologize to me for anything, except for Hawke?_ “Who's there?” Caitlin asked, hesitantly.

 

 

“Cait,” Hawke said from behind the roses, “it's me, String. I, I wanted to apologize. For everything.”

 

 

 _I should've guessed,_ Caitlin thought, _as soon as I saw the flowers, I should've guessed it'd be String_. She felt tears flood her eyes again as she took the flowers and bear out of Hawke's hands. “String? Are you all right?” She asked, noticing Hawke's expression. _He looks like he's just lost his last friend,_ Caitlin thought. _Which he definitely hasn't. At least, not while Dom and I are both still alive and kicking, if he's really here to apologize like he said he is._

 

 

“Yeah, I'm all right, Cait,” Hawke replied, smiling at her. “In fact, I haven't been this good in a long time. And once I say what I have to say, hopefully, I'll be even better. Cait,” he said, his expression turning serious again, “I, I apologize from the bottom of my heart for what I said yesterday—that your life would have been better, and longer, if we hadn't ever met. I, I know how much that hurt you, and all I can say is that I was wrong, and I hope like hell I haven't ruined our friendship. Andmost of all, that I'm very, _very_ sorry.”

 

 

“Thanks, String, but you're not tellin' me anything that _I_ haven't been tryin' to tell _you_ ever since the day my plane back to Texas got hijacked, y'know.” _Stringfellow Hawke, actually admitting he was wrong? I have_ ** _got_** _to write this down! And, the next time I run the engineering station_ _aboard_ _Airwolf, I'm logging it into the computer. Might come in handy someday,_ she thought, stifling a smile. _But at least, now I know why String look_ _ed_ _so down_ _when I saw his face_ _._

 

 

“I know, Cait,” Hawke said as she took her flowers and found a vase, putting them in water. “And I don't expect you to forgive me for what I said. Like I said, Cait, I know it was wrong, and I know how much it hurt you. In fact, I'm kinda surprised you're still here.”

 

 

“Oh, really?” Caitlin asked. “What'd you think, that I'd gone runnin' back home to Mom, like some kinda little kid?”

 

 

“That's exactly what I thought, Cait. I figured you'd caught the first plane back to Texas, or that you'd just gotten on a plane, and you were just gonna keep on goin' until the money ran out, then walk, like you said you were gonna do before.” _After I shot Villers down,_ Hawke thought with a small air of satisfaction.

 

 

“I remember, String,” Caitlin said, walking over to him and taking both of his hands in hers, “and I'll be honest with ya, I've been sittin' here thinkin' about doin' just that—packin' up my stuff and heading back to Texas, at least—practically since Dom and I got back from your cabin last night, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't do it for two reasons. Number one, I don't want to give Mom the satisfaction of bein' right, and bein' able to say, 'See? I told ya so, Caity girl!,' or somethin' like that. Not to mention the fact that Mom and Erin would _both_ want to be on the first plane back here to beat the living crap outta you for what you said!” _And_ _I wouldn't stop them, because_ _they'd have every right to do it,_ Hawke thought. Then, he heard Caitlin saying something else.

 

 

“And number two, well,” She hesitated, and Hawke felt his heart leap into his throat.

 

 

“Go ahead, Cait,” Hawke said, “What's number two?”

 

 

“Number two, I can't leave because of the simple fact that I, I love you, String,” Caitlin said hesitantly. “I have loved you, and I've _been in love with you,_ ever since I met you.”

 

 

Hawke sighed with relief at Caitlin's words. “Cait, I love you, too,” he said, smiling. “And in case you're wondering, I mean that I'm _in love with you._ I've just been too stubborn, and stupid, to admit it before now.”

 

 

“Well, you're absolutely right about the stupid part,” Caitlin said, “and the stubborn part, too.” Hawke felt his heart drop straight to the soles of his shoes at Caitlin's words. _But I deserve every one of 'em,_ he thought. “I, I know, Cait. And, you're absolutely right, about all of it.”

 

 

 _You're doggoned right I am, String!_ Caitlin thought. _But I can't stay mad at you, after what you did, and more important, what you_ ** _said._** “But, y'know what, String? The fact that you admitted that you were wrong, and apologized for what you said, means _everything_ to me. So none of what happened matters anymore. I forgive you, String, for _everything._ All that matters now is that we know how we feel about each other, and we can move forward. Together.” Caitlin smiled hesitantly up at Hawke, and Hawke saw the truth of her words reflected in her hazel eyes. _The fact that he's here, and admitting that he's wrong, makes me love String even more than I already do,_ Caitlin thought happily.

 

 

“Yeah,” Hawke said as he slipped his arms around Caitlin's waist, and felt hers going around his neck, “together.” He smiled at Caitlin again as he pulled her close to him and kissed her, a deep, longing kiss that became steadily more passionate until Hawke realized he needed to breathe, as much as he needed Caitlin. He gently pulled back, then noticed the tears in Caitlin's eyes. “I'm, I'm sorry, Cait,” he said. “Too much, too fast?”

 

 

“No, String,” Caitlin said, shaking her head emphatically, “oh, _God, no!_ These tears aren't because I'm sad, or whatever else you might be thinkin'. I mean, I have been _dreaming_ of you kissing me, just like that, practically since that day on the movie set! These tears are because I'm _happy!_ I'm happy that you've finally figured out your feelings about me. Um,” she said, suddenly realizing something, “you _have_ figured out your feelings about me, right?”

 

 

“Yeah, Cait, I have,” Hawke said. “Like I told you, I'm in love with you, Caitlin, and I have been for a very long time. I've just been too stubborn, and stupid, to admit it before now. But, I can promise you two things, Caitlin. Number one, I will _never_ let anyone, or anything, get in the way of my feelings for you, ever again. And number two, if you'll have me, then I promise you right here and now that I'll spend the rest of our lives making up for hurting you the way I have been. Because I want to tell you something. You are, without a doubt, the best thing that's happened to me in a long time—maybe the best thing that _ever_ happened to me, even though I don't acknowledge it. But that's somethin' else I want to work on—showing you how much you mean to me. How much, I love you, Cait.” _But I wouldn't blame you if you didn't believe me,_ he thought. _'Cause I know how much what I said hurt you._

 

 

 _The rest of 'our' lives,_ Caitlin thought, excited. _God in Heaven! String must be even more serious than I thought! And he said I'm the best thing that ever happened to him—it's about time he realized that! And most important, I know him. I know Stringfellow Hawke never says anything he doesn't mean._ Aloud, she said, “I believe you, String, and I forgive you. For _everything._ Like I said, it's all over now, and my parents always taught Erin and me not to hold a grudge, especially against someone we love. I think you've had _me,_ ever since I saw you back in that jail cell in Pope County, even though it took you so long to acknowledge how you felt. And besides,” she said, grinning impishly at him, “how could I possibly stay mad at someone who brought me two dozen roses and such an adorableteddy bear?”

 

 

“Thanks, Cait,” Hawke replied, sighing with relief. “And, there's somethin' else I want to say to you.”

 

 

“Uh-oh. This sounds serious.”

 

 

“Yeah. It is,” Hawke said, gazing deep into Caitlin's eyes. “I promise you, I will _never_ say, or do, anything more to hurt you in any way, _ever._ ”

 

 

 _Wow,_ Caitlin thought, _he must really be serious._ “Thank you, String, and I promise you the same,” she said, her eyes filling with tears. _But, they're happy tears,_ she thought, _'cause finally, String knows I love him, and I know he loves me!_ “String, I'll tell you somethin—I'd rather hurt _myself_ before I'd hurt you.”

 

 

“I feel exactly the same way, Cait, and like I said before, I'm gonna spend the rest of our lives trying to make up for all the things I've said, and done, that have hurt you in the past.”

 

 

“What the heck happened, String?” Cait asked a moment later.

 

 

“That's a real long story, Cait, and I'm not sure you'd believe me if I told you. I'll just say that last night, after you and Dom left, I saw, something, that convinced me how wrong I was to say that to you, and that your life wouldn't be better, or safer, if we had never met.”

 

 

“String, you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that,” Caitlin said, her eyes shining. _Oh, I think I do, Cait,_ Hawke thought, remembering how he'd felt when he saw her die.

 

 

“Listen, String,” Caitlin said as she moved closer in his arms, “I know you're scared about the curse. Heck, I've been scared for a long time—scared that you'd never admit how you felt about me, and scared that you _didn't_ feel the same way about me that I did—that I _do,_ I mean—about you. And most important, I've been scared of how intense my feelings are for you, if you didn't feel the same way about me that I do about you. And I can't promise you that nothing's ever gonna happen to me. Heck, with everything I've been through already, including the stuff I went through back in Texas _before_ I met you, I'm surprised I'm not dead already!” Hawke inwardly winced as he pictured Caitlin's lifeless body strapped to that gurney in his vision from the night before. _Caitlin, you don't know the half of it,_ Hawke thought as he suppressed a shudder.

 

 

“But, String, I believe in you. And more important, I believe in _us._ We'll make it, String. I have faith, and I hope you do, too.”

 

 

“I do, Cait,” Hawke replied, smiling at her before he kissed her again. As he felt Caitlin's body mold tightly against his, Hawke marveled at how well she seemed to fit against him. _It's like we're made for each other._

 

 

Caitlin's heart rate jumped as she felt her body mold tightly against Hawke's as he kissed her, and she wasn't surprised to feel a moist warmth coming from her very core. _God, I want you, String!_ She thought, knowing she couldn't contain her desire for him for very long, especially after she felt _him_ against her, which only served to heighten her own excitement. Still, she marveled at how well she seemed to fit against Hawke, and how comfortable she felt in his arms. _I could stay just like this, forever,_ she thought excitedly, even as she felt Hawke separating them. _But that's temporary,_ Caitlin thought as she took Hawke's hands and began pulling him in the direction of her bedroom.

 

 

This time when they separated, Hawke noticed a particular gleam in Caitlin's eyes as she took his hands in hers and began leading him to her bedroom. Hawke hesitated for a moment. “Cait? Are you sure?”

 

 

“String,” Caitlin said breathily, “yes. I'm sure that I love you, and I want you. And, I think I've waited long enough for this, don't you?”

 

 

Hawke smiled, nodded, and allowed Caitlin to lead him to her bedroom. He pulled her back into his arms and said, “Yeah, Cait. I think we both have.” The kiss that followed dwarfed every one of their previous kisses in both its intensity and passion as the emotions they had both been holding in check for so long finally began to unleash themselves as Hawke showed Caitlin how much he loved her, and he learned how much she loved him in return.

 

 

When it was over, as Hawke pulled Caitlin's body tight against his, he thought he felt something change in the air, as if something, or someone, had lowered a blanket of peace over them. _Thanks, Kel,_ Hawke thought, smiling when he heard Caitlin sigh happily. _It's going to be a wonderful life. I know that now._ Hawke closed his eyes happily as he felt Caitlin pull his arms tighter around her body, and he pondered the future. _Our future,_ Hawke corrected himself with a lightness in his heart that he hadn't felt in a long time, as he pictured their wedding day, back at the cabin out on the dock. _Our future, together._

 

 

**THE END.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know, I know, I said the first chapter was a one-shot, but the voices just started talking again, so there's a second chapter, which takes place around six months after the events in Chapter 1. Enjoy, and Happy New Year!

“String? Can I ask you something?” Caitlin rolled over in bed and gazed into String's eyes, worriedly.

 

 

“Cait, you can ask me anything. You know that.”

 

 

“Okay, then. Would you please tell me what you saw that night?” Hawke hesitated, knowing what Caitlin was talking about. Six months ago, after Hawke and Dom rescued Caitlin from Ken Sawyer, Hawke said that Caitlin's life would be better, and _longer,_ if she and Hawke had never met. But that night, Hawke had a vision of what Caitlin's life _would_ have been like, if they had never met, and it had helped him realize that Caitlin was safer knowing him, and even loving him, than she would have been if they had never met.

 

 

“What more do you want to know, Cait?” Hawke asked. “I told you, something happened after you and Dom left that night that convinced me that you wouldn't be any safer if we hadn't ever met. In fact, your life would have been a lot worse if we hadn't met.”

 

 

“You told me that much, String, but I want to know _more,_ ” Caitlin insisted. “What exactly happened to you to change your mind? I mean, when you came to my house that day, I hadn't seen you that frightened since you woke up in Horn's compound and thought you'd killed Dom. So whatever you saw had to scare you nearly to death, and I want to know what it was.”

 

 

Hawke sighed as he gazed into the eyes of the woman he loved, and saw the determination there. _I know that look. Cait's not going to give up until I tell her, everything. And we promised we'd be honest with each other._ “Okay, Cait,” he said. “In the vision, or dream, or whatever the hell it was, Dom and I never came to Texas to help you with Sheriff Bogan, and you were married to Robert Villers. And,” Hawke noticed Caitlin's expression and wasn't surprised at all when she interrupted him.

 

 

“Villers? You're kidding! I was married to him?”

 

 

“Yeah, Cait, you were. Apparently, he moved to Texas and the two of you met at a bar one night. Since he was aiming for political office, mainly the Governor's mansion, he knew he'd have a hard time getting elected if he wasn't married.” Caitlin nodded her understanding, and Hawke went on, “So the marriage, at least in Villers' mind, was more of convenience than love, even though I know you didn't feel that way. And you looked happy enough,” Hawke said, “but when I saw you, Villers was asking you who you had been screwing behind his back. And you were very upset, to put it mildly.”

 

 

“I _bet_ I was,” Caitlin replied. “I hope you know me well enough to know that I'd never cheat on somebody I love, _especially_ if that man was my husband. So, then what happened?”

 

 

“Well, you told Robert that _he_ was the only person you had ever slept with, and that you'd never step outside of your marriage vows.” Hawke smiled nervously as he remembered Caitlin's expression in his vision. “And, I thought he believed you, but then he made some comment about the way you were dressed; which, I will say, was more suggestive than I'd _ever_ seen you dress before. At least, until recently.” Caitlin smiled, knowing that she'd begun dressing more suggestively, but tastefully, since she and String had gotten together. “And, he also complained about you not having sex with him for over two months.”

 

 

“ _Two months?_ ” Caitlin echoed. “Good grief, what the heck was I tryin' to do? Become a nun or somethin' like that?”

 

 

“I, I really don't know. It did sound awfully strange, now that I think about it,” Hawke agreed. “Anyway, when you asked him what he meant by his comment, he...” Hawke's voice trailed off, and Caitlin saw the fear in his eyes again.

 

 

“What happened, String?” Caitlin asked, reaching out and placing one hand gently on his cheek.

 

 

Hawke hesitated again, then took Caitlin's hand and said, “He called you a bitch, and then he, he hit you, Cait. Punched you straight in the face and left you with a bruise under one eye. I was ready to tear him apart when I saw that, but Kelly told me that we were just there to observe, and you couldn't see us.”

 

 

“Kelly?”

 

 

“Yeah. My high school girlfriend, the one who was killed in the car accident right before Saint John and I went to Vietnam. You've heard me talk about her, Cait. Anyway, she was the one who came to me in this, vision, or dream, or whatever the hell it was, and who showed me what your life would have been like if you'd never met me.”

 

 

“Okay, so I was married to Villers, and he was beating me for whatever reason,” Caitlin said, “and you were angry about it, which I understand. But I know I wouldn't have put up with it for very long. I probably would've beat the crap outta him the first night he hit me! And you know I could have, right?”

 

 

“I do know that, Cait. Heck, you kicked my butt that day at Horn's compound. Except that in this case, you didn't use your karate skills on Villers,” Hawke said.

 

 

“What?” Caitlin demanded. “You mean I didn't defend myself?”

 

 

“No,” Hawke said, sighing again. “You felt like you and Villers could work things out, and you didn't want to hurt someone you loved.” Caitlin smiled, knowing she'd told Hawke exactly that six months ago, the night Hawke apologized for his comment, and admitted to his feelings for her.

 

 

“Well, that makes sense, I suppose. So what happened next?”

 

 

“Well, you told him that the reason you'd been dressing that way was to get his attention, and he punched you in the face again. That's when I decided I'd seen enough. The last thing we saw was you cowering in the corner of your living room, looking more frightened than I'd ever seen you in your _life,_ including after Dom and I rescued you from Sawyer. And, that's why I promised you that I will _never_ do anything more to hurt you. I was including physically hurting you, because of what I'd seen.”

 

 

“I understand, String,” Caitlin said. “So, you left. What happened next?”

 

 

Hawke hesitated again, and Caitlin saw Hawke's eyes grow hooded again. _Just like at Horn's compound, when he woke up and thought he'd killed Dom,_ Caitlin thought. “String, it's, it's okay. You don't have to tell me.”

 

 

“I'm, I'm all right, Cait. Anyway, first, Kelly told me that what I saw was seven months after you and Villers got married, and he'd been beating you off and on since a month after the wedding. And she also told me that _he_ was the one cheating, and ignoring you. Basically, he was doing everything he was accusing _you_ of doing.”

 

 

“And beating me to cover for it. That doesn't surprise me. In a lot of the abuse cases I worked as a cop, the abuser usually accused the victim of doin' everything they were guilty of. So what happened next?”

 

 

“Well, the next thing I saw, you were waiting for Villers at your house again, and when he came into the house, he had a look on his face like he was going to kill you. Kinda like what I told you I was thinkin' when I found Moffet, after Gabrielle died in my arms.” Caitlin nodded, remembering when Hawke had told her that story. “And then, you shot him dead.”

 

 

“Good riddance, it sounds like,” Caitlin said, and Hawke nodded. “So what happened next?”

 

 

“Evidently one of your neighbors heard the gunshots, and called the cops, and they came and arrested you. You were tried and convicted of first-degree murder, even though it was obvious that you'd been abused, and were only defending yourself.”

 

 

“You mean the jury didn't take any of the injuries you said I suffered into account?” Caitlin demanded, incredulous.

 

 

“Nope. Your lawyer wasn't that great, and the DA was hopin' he'd be able to use your case as a springboard to get himself into the Governor's mansion, with Villers as his running mate. Kelly told me he'd started an anti-spousal abuse campaign, too. Why that didn't figure into your case, since Villers had obviously abused you, I didn't quite understand, but evidently, in this vision I was experiencing, Villers was quite powerful there in Texas, and he was on the straight and narrow. At least,” Hawke said with a wry smile, “as straight and narrow as politicians can be.”

 

 

“Huh. Sounds like typical 'good old boy' Pope County politics to me. So then, what happened?”

 

 

“You were convicted of first-degree murder, like I said, and sentenced to die by lethal injection,” Hawke said, shuddering again. Caitlin nodded sympathetically, knowing that Texas was a death penalty state.

 

 

“And, lemme guess. Villers had connections that helped get the execution done sooner, rather than later. Even from the grave, he was still able to hurt me one last time in this vision of yours.”

 

 

“Yeah. Plus, you didn't show any remorse for what you did—not that I blamed you—and that didn't bode well for you during the appeals process, even short as it was. And finally, you, you died,” Hawke said, the tears flowing freely. “You died from the lethal injection, even though you had no idea that I even existed. And right then, I knew how wrong I'd been to say that to you that night.” Hawke hung his head, embarrassed to let Caitlin see the tears in his eyes.

 

 

 _God in Heaven!_ Caitlin thought as she digested what Hawke had told her. _Now I understand why he looked so scared when he came to the house that day. Between him bein' nervous about apologizing to me, and what he told me he saw, I'm surprised he was able to apologize._ Not knowing what she could say that might comfort Hawke, Caitlin pulled him into her arms and lay his head against her chest, placing his ear just over her heart and holding him as she allowed him to cry himself out.

 

 

“It's okay, String,” Caitlin murmured, trying to help him calm down. “It was only a dream, or a vision, or whatever the heck you called it. I'm right here, alive and well, and totally in love with you.”

 

 

“I, I love you, too, Cait,” Hawke said, finally feeling his emotions coming under control. “I will always love you.”

 

 

“And I'll always love you, String. That's the reason why I moved in here, y'know.” Hawke smiled as he remembered the day, two months after they'd gotten together, when Caitlin suggested she move into the cabin. _“String, isn't it ridiculous that after we go out, I go back to my house and you go back to your cabin, and we're both goin' home to empty beds?”_

 

 

“ _Yeah,” Hawke agreed. “It really is.”_ He and Dom had Caitlin moved into the cabin the next day.

 

 

“I know, Cait. And this place is so much nicer, now that you're here.”

 

 

“Thanks, String. And, y'know, I've been thinkin' about something. Did you notice what happened when you told me you love me?”

 

 

“Whataya mean, Cait? Nothing happened. At least, nothing bad.” Hawke suddenly understood what Caitlin meant.

 

 

“ _Exactly. Nothing happened._ Nobody stormed the house to kidnap me, nobody was waitin' in my car to chloroform me or hold a knife to my throat the next morning. And, nothin' bad has happened in the six months since we got together. At least, nothing we haven't been able to get out of, _together._ Doesn't _that_ tell you somethin', Stringfellow Hawke?”

 

 

“Yeah, it does,” Hawke agreed. Reluctantly, he eased himself out of Caitlin's arms and they both got dressed, even though it was a Saturday and the hangar was closed.

 

 

After breakfast, Hawke and Caitlin sat out on the porch and talked some more about his vision.

 

 

“So that vision, or whatever it was, convinced you that what you said that night was wrong?”

 

 

“Yeah. I mean, after I saw what your life would have been like if we'd never met, I knew what I had to do. What I _wanted_ to do. And I realized that I was hurting you by my attitude, especially with what I said that night. And I know there's nothing I can say, or do, to take back what I said.”

 

 

“I know, String, but like I said, it's over and done with. And I know how you feel about me. You've shown me how you really feel about me every day since we've been together.”

 

 

“And I'll never stop,” Hawke promised. “I feel like it's the least I can do, to make up for what I said that night.”

 

 

“Thanks, String.” Caitlin smiled and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder.

 

 

“You're welcome. Y'know, I wish I'd admitted my feelings a long time ago, Cait. I think I've loved you ever since I met you, even though I was bein' too stubborn, and stupid, to admit it. Or at least, I've loved you ever since I saw you standing in front of me when I was workin' on Dom's old Stearman, and you were holding that stupid bolt.”

 

 

“I remember. You kept dropping the stupid thing, and I finally said, 'You could wear this around your neck!' And then, you smiled at me, that wonderful, gorgeous smile of yours. I always have loved that smile, y'know, even when I wasn't seeing it very often.”

 

 

“Well, I'm sure tryin' to smile a lot more, thanks to you,” Hawke replied.

 

 

“I've noticed, and I'm glad, String. And I'm sure glad Kelly was able to talk sense into your stubborn head. I was beginning to wonder if you'd _ever_ acknowledge how you felt about me. I was beginning to think there was no hope for you, that you'd never accept that I love you.”

 

 

“I know, Cait. If it makes you feel better, though, Sinj always did say I was the stubborn one, and you know that about as well as anybody, except probably Dom. But I feel so much better now that I have finally accepted my feelings about you. Heck, Michael says even Zeus notices the change in my attitude since we've been together. And it's all thanks to you, Cait. I should have acknowledged my feelings about you a _long time ago._ ”

 

 

“Yeah, I do know how stubborn you are, String, and I love you in spite of it. And if you'd accepted your feelings sooner, it would have saved both of us a lot of grief, I agree with ya, String,” Caitlin said, snuggling closer to him. “But Mom and Daddy always taught Erin and me not to hold grudges, so I'm sure as heck not gonna start now. I forgive you, String, for _everything._ It's all in the past as far as I'm concerned. All I'm thinkin' about now is that you and I can move forward, _together._ The way I always wanted us to be.”

 

 

“And the way I hope we will be, real soon, Cait,” Hawke mumbled.

 

 

“What?”

 

 

 _Uh-oh. I was kinda hopin' she didn't hear that, but she did, so I suppose it' s time,_ Hawke thought. “Well, Cait, there's, there's somethin' I've been wanting to ask you for a while now,” Hawke said, disengaging his arm from around Caitlin's shoulders and standing up. As he reached into his pocket, Hawke dropped to one knee, and Caitlin felt herself catching her breath in surprise as Hawke pulled a gorgeous oval-cut diamond ring out of his pocket.

 

 

“Caitlin O'Shannessy, will you marry me?”

 

 

The length of time it took Caitlin to answer Hawke's proposal began making him nervous. Finally, she wiped the tears out of her eyes and said, “Yes! _Yes,_ String! Of course I'll marry you!” She smiled as Hawke slipped the ring onto the third finger of her left hand, then stood up, pulling her up with him into a passionate and loving kiss.

 

 

“String,” Caitlin said after she eased them apart, “I'm, I'm sorry I took so long to answer you, but I couldn't breathe! And I couldn't find my voice. I, I hope you understand.”

 

 

“I understand, Cait, and it's okay. Although I will admit I was getting nervous the longer it took you to answer me.”

 

 

“I know, String, and again, I'm sorry about that. But take my word for it, I want to be your wife more than anything. And I have been dreamin' of hearing those words from you for _weeks!_ You, you do believe me, don't you?”

 

 

Instead of answering, Hawke scooped her off her feet and carried her back into the cabin, not stopping until they reached the sleeping loft. As he reached for the buttons on her blouse, Hawke said, “Does this answer your question?”

 

 

“Yeah,” Caitlin said, smiling as she began unbuttoning Hawke's shirt. “It does. But, can we not talk anymore?”

 

 

Hawke nodded as they continued undressing one another and lowered themselves onto the bed. As their bodies joined, Caitlin felt tears coming to her eyes. _But they're happy tears,_ she thought. _'Cause I'm with the man I love. The man I've loved since the day I laid eyes on him. And the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with._

 

 

When it was over, Hawke couldn't help but smile as he pulled Caitlin's body tight against his own. _I never thought I could feel like this. So happy. Like I've found the woman I'm supposed to be with._ He smiled as he fell asleep, pondering the future.

 

 

They were married six weeks later, in a small ceremony at the cabin. Caitlin's sister Erin was her maid of honor, and in a surprise, Saint John was there to stand with String as his best man. It turned out that Saint John had been commanding a Special Operations Group since he was rescued from his captivity in North Vietnam, and the group was classified _Top Secret Umbra,_ which explained why even Michael had so much difficulty finding any information about Saint John. Saint John finally came home a few days after String proposed to Caitlin, and even though it took a couple of more days, String was able to forgive his older brother for what he'd done. String remembered what Caitlin told him the night Saint John arrived back home, as they were getting ready for bed.

 

 

“ _String, you can't be too mad at Saint John. I mean, really. Why get upset with him for doin' basically the same thing we do on a regular basis, with Airwolf?”_

 

 

_String resented the fact that his fiancée seemed to be taking his older brother's side, until he thought about what Caitlin had just told him and realized that once again, she was right. Finally, he smiled and said, “You're right, Cait. And, thanks.”_

 

 

“ _Don't mention it, String,” Caitlin said, smiling at him._

 

 

_The next day, Saint John was surprised when String apologized for getting so upset with him when he came home. But as soon as Saint John met Caitlin, and learned that she and String were together and engaged to be married, String's reaction made perfect sense, so Saint John stopped her before they left for the cabin that night, and said, “Thanks, Cait.”_

 

 

“ _For what, Sinj?” Caitlin asked._

 

 

“ _For everything you've done to String,” Saint John replied, smiling at her. “I couldn't understand why he didn't try to slug me after I told him what I'd been doin' all these years, but now, it makes sense. It almost feels like I've got my little brother back, y'know?”_

 

 

“ _Yeah, Sinj, I do know,” Caitlin told him, “and I'm sure glad I've been able to help him.” Caitlin smiled at Saint John as he said, “Well, whatever magic you've worked on him, please, don't ever stop.”_

 

 

“ _Don't you worry about that, Sinj. I don't call it 'magic,' though, just love. And I love your brother very much. And, I'll help you and Dom take care of him from now on.”_

 

 

“ _I see how much you love him, Cait. And, personally, I hope I never stop seeing it. And,” he added, smiling at her, “thanks. I've been worryin' about what String was gonna do, when Dom finally dies, and it's nice to know I'll have some help lookin' out for String.”_

 

 

_About that time, String came up to Caitlin, slipping his arm around her shoulders. “What are you conspiring with **my fianc** **é** **e** about, Sinj?” String demanded, but Saint John saw the glint of humor in his younger brother's eyes._

 

 

“ _We weren't **conspiring** about anything, little brother,” Saint John said. “I was just telling Caitlin how much happier you seem, and telling her thanks for everything she's done.”_

 

 

“ _Okay,” String said, smiling at his older brother._

 

 

An old friend of Michael's, Judge Ronald Clevenger, performed the ceremony there on the dock at String's cabin, with Caitlin's mother Maggie and older sister Erin there as String and Caitlin's special guests, along with Saint John's son Le Van, Michael, and Marella. Afterward, Dom fixed dinner for everyone before he took Maggie and Erin back to their hotel.

 

 

“Congratulations, String, and welcome to the family!” Maggie told him as they got ready to leave. “You don't know how long I've been waitin' to be able to say that to you!”

 

 

“Actually, Maggie, I do know,” Hawke replied, “and thank you.” He gave Caitlin's mother a warm embrace, then turned to her sister Erin.

 

 

“String, I've only got one thing to say to you. If you _ever_ do _anything_ to hurt Cait, I swear, I'll be on the first plane back here and so help me God, I'll beat your brains in myself! Who do you think taught Cait everything she knows about hand-to-hand combat?”

 

 

“I understand, Erin,” String replied, “and if I ever did anything that stupid, then I wouldn't stop you from doing whatever you felt you had to do. But I wouldn't worry too much. I love Caitlin, very much. And besides, she'd probably beat the crap out of me long before you got here!” The twinkle in his bride's eye just then told String that he was right. _If I didn't know the whole story, Erin's reaction would surprise the heck outta me,_ he thought, remembering what Caitlin had told him about her sister's marriage falling apart. _But since I do, it makes perfect sense. I'd probably be the same way with Sinj, under similar circumstances._

 

 

“I'm glad we understand each other, and like Mom said, welcome to the family. It sure took us long enough to get here, but we're sure happy to have you!” She exchanged a warm, friendly embrace with String, then gave her sister a hug before getting into the chopper to go back to the hangar.

 

 

Finally, Cait and String stood wrapped in each other's arms on the front porch of the cabin. “Alone at last,” Caitlin said as she leaned closer to String. “Don't misunderstand this, 'cause you know I love Mom and Erin, but I have been wanting some alone time with my husband all day,” she said, smiling suggestively at him. 

 

 

“I understand, Cait,” String said, “and I feel the same way. I love your mom and your sister the same way I love Dom and Sinj, but I'm glad we're finally alone.” The glimmer in Hawke's eyes just then told Caitlin all she needed to know, and she wasn't surprised when String scooped her up in his arms and carried her into the cabin, and straight up to the sleeping loft. After he set Caitlin back on her feet and they moved into each other's arms, Hawke said, “Congratulations, Mrs. Hawke. And, _welcome home.”_

 

 

“Thank you, Mr. Hawke,” Caitlin said in her most alluring Southern drawl, as she began unbuttoning her husband's shirt, “I am _very_ happy to be here, and especially happy to be here as your wife.” She smiled suggestively as she helped String get her out of the complicated wedding dress she was wearing, then they embraced each other again as they moved to the bed, and allowed the passion that both felt for the other to unleash itself once again.

 

 

When it was over, Hawke pulled Caitlin's body tight against his own, relishing in the feel of her skin against his. Just then, he heard Kelly's voice in his head again. _Nice going, String. And, congratulations._

 

 

 _Thanks, Kel._ Hawke thought. He heard Caitlin sigh happily as she snuggled closer in his arms. _We're going to have a wonderful life together,_ Hawke thought. _I know that, now._ He felt Caitlin relax in his arms, and even though he felt sleep trying to claim him, Hawke couldn't close his eyes, choosing to admire Caitlin's body lying next to him. Finally, he felt his eyes close of their own volition, and he succumbed to sleep, pondering the future.

 

 

Caitlin felt Hawke's arms around her as she fell asleep, her body still tingling from their activities. _God, I love this man,_ she thought, sighing happily as she snuggled closer in Hawke's arms. _I never thought I could be this happy. Now_ _I know what true love feels like—the kind of love my mom and dad had, and the kind of love String told me his folks had. The same type of love I feel for String, and now, we_ _belong to each other, for now, and for always._ _And I'm the happiest gal on the face of this Earth._ She felt a tear in her eye as she felt Hawke pull her body tight against him. _I still can't believe it—I'm Mrs. Stringfellow Hawke. Caitlin Hawke. The name I'll never get tired of hearin', no matter which way or how often I hear it._ She sighed again as she fell asleep, happier than she'd been in a long time,as she pondered her future. _Our future,_ she corrected herself. _Our future, together._

 

 

**THE END! (For real, this time).**


End file.
